“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?”
Birthdays as well as some major holydays have been – at least for me – a time for reflection and resolution.
The problem with reflecting on ones life is that it is very difficult to be objective.
To look at yourself and give yourself a good analysis and measurement it is practically impossible.
It is like trying to figure out if you have a piece of spinach stuck to your teeth without a mirror.
What you need is somebody else’s point of view.
A very good friend that knows you inside out and also somebody you can trust to be absolutely honest with you – and as you know, it is so very rare and so hard to find such a friend.
So what you can do – what I do – is to borrow somebody else’s eyes and look at my own life from their POV.
Like the starving child in my last post.
Here I am fighting my “weight problem” while a child in Africa is dying of starvation.
Do you realize what that means?
Do you realize that half of the world population can not even afford to have my problems?
From that standpoint my problems are “luxuries”
It is a very sobering point of view and it puts my life in a totally different perspective.
I have a very good life.
I have the life I dreamed of having when I defected communism and immigrated to USA.
I’m living my own dream yet some where in the back of my head there is this nagging feeling that some how my life is not quite the way it should be.
Why is that?
Why do we feel that way when we know that we have nothing to complain about?
That is because your subconscious mind is not a logical, reasonable mind.
The subconscious judges reality based on emotion not on data.
The subconscious sees life as a dynamic, as quantitative changes, not as static status quo.
In other words it looks at what your life was and where your life is going.
And in the last couple of years my life was in a very static “survive” mode.
So here it is – the feeling that I am stuck.
Not that I have a bad life, nor that I am a failure but that ominous feeling that my life is going nowhere at this point.
I need to get “un stuck” or it will drive me bananas :)