Nobody wants to be poor or uneducated.
Nobody wants to have a meaningless, unfulfilling miserable existence.
For the most part we all want to be and do good.
Nobody wants to be a loser.
I’ve been looking at life and in particular at my own life trying to understand why with all our extraordinary efforts we fail to materialize our good intentions.
Why is success so important to me?
Well, for one thing I want to be able to offer my children a good life, a good education, a good chance for a fulfilling life.
I never had a problem of becoming successful in whatever I was trying to accomplish but every time my success ended in a crash and burn dive.
It was no problem. If I lost a job, I would find another one.
If I failed my business, I would start another one.
If my relationship did not work out as I planed it, I would find another girl friend.
When I was single I looked at all this like a game.
When disaster struck, I thought of it as bad karma, as paying the dues for my wrong doing.
I just picked up the pieces and started all over again.
But all that has changed the moment I started a family.
Failure for me is not an option anymore.
I can not go through another foreclosure and if I have a fight with my wife divorce is not an option.
The specter and possibility of failure has been a constant companion of mine for the last ten years.
The fear of another disaster has kept me from getting into financial troubles now when a lot of people are in trouble and sheer determination has kept my marriage afloat past all the storms.
Nut even if fear has worked for me keeping me out of the trouble I could not accept fear as the philosophy behind my life.
It just goes against all my beliefs and feelings.
But what else is there?
I have tried almost everything one can think of.
I have read all the how to be successful books.
I have meditated and contemplated for years.
I’ve been dissecting my life on this blog for months now.
What am I doing wrong?
After a lot of thought I think I have found the answer.
The secret of success is not knowing how to win but knowing how to lose.
I don’t have a problem wining, my problem is that I don’t know how to manage my loses.
I am like a football or basketball team with an excellent offensive but with no defense at all.
I am like America in Vietnam; winning all the battles but losing the war.
Now I understand what fear has been doing for me.
Fear has kept me on the defense.
When everybody was borrowing money for a bigger, better, more expensive house and life, I settle for and comfortable and affordable one.
When people droped out of their marriages I did the hard work of keeping mine alive.
I did well and now I understand why.
I like to be in control of my life.
I believe in God and I believe God gives us all great opportunities in life.
But when opportunity knocks at your door you have at least to open it.
Which reminds me; Interest rates are really low now. Time to refinance my house.
I am playing for keeps now!