Thursday, April 9, 2009

My Predicament

The reason I am making this inquiry into “life remodeling” is because I would like to make some changes in my life.
You see, abut 13 years ago I got this job in the “Entertainment Industry”
The fact that they call it “Industry” and not “Entertainment Art” should have raised a red flag but at that time it didn’t.

I thought I was getting in a creative, artistic environment where you can meet and mingle with other creative and talented people and I would love what I was doing and doing what I love - like the good book says you should.

Well, Hollywood is like that only in the movies.
In real life I ended up doing a job I did not like. I lost interest in what I was doing. I did not keep up with the technological progress, did not climb the corporate ladder and ended up going to work just to pay my bills.
Like most of the people I know.

Since I started dabbling in the spiritual world, I realized that my belief – emotion that propelled me into my career had changed, and my new belief - emotion “I don’t give a shit about my job” will eventually materialize in me getting laid off.

So here is my predicament.
I am dreaming of doing something creative while I am doing a job that I don’t like anymore but I can’t just simply quit my job because I have a family and my kids to support.
So how can I change my career “remodel” my life without going through the crush and burn “remodeling” of my past?

I watched God doing his/her “remodeling” and it looks like magic.
It is beautiful, it is painless, and it is perfect.
God doesn’t destroy everything to the ground each time he wants to do a remodeling.
Gods remodeling is not destruction is evolution!
Why, I can only act when the shit hits the fan, when everything is lost and I have no other way to go but up and start all over again?
Why can’t I effect evolutionary changes in my life and I get stuck in shitty predicaments like this?

Well, because like most of us I learn by trial and error.
We go through life like a broken disk player, doing the same mistakes over and over again, till eventually after years of pain and suffering we get it right.
Sounds familiar?

Well, it has to be a better way to do things and I am going to find it out!


Lydia said...

Brilliant, Buddha. I never thought of evolution in terms of God remodeling, but what a freeing way to see that in reference to our own lives. I hope you write about this process because the situation is shared by so many people and maybe by including your readers the path will have fewer twists and turns. In my work life I never did find an answer or resolution to this predicament. I can still feel that feeling of playing a role, hating the game. From those years came a few golden friendships and I've consoled myself with that fact, thinking that perhaps that was what I was supposed to see all along.

Talon said...

I think some remodeling (even the divine type) has a lot of destruction involved - think earthquakes, forest fires, tidal waves, etc...and think of nature and the various stages of a butterfly's life and you see that sometimes you have to completely reinvent yourself in order to reach the next level.

When you have a family and responsibilities, it's not easy to make major life changes. Naturally you have to be concerned with the nuts and bolts of living, but I always remind myself that a journey of a thousand steps begins with just one step at a time, Buddha, and I think you'll do just fine.

Mark said...

There is a better way and that is to learn to listen to your spirit and not your ego. Learn to trust that all will work out as it should work out. Learn to accept yourself as you are and then make the changes you desire.

Aggie said...

I agree with the one step at a time scenario ... but with a PLAN! Step 1 might re re-train for a new job that you really do want. Step 2 is to put out feelers for vacancies. Step 3 might be after you have re-trained ... etc, etc. Until within your planned timeframe you have reached where you want to be. That is, if you know. My problem, over all the years of sitting in jobs I hated to pay bills, was not knowing what I wanted to do as an alternative. Set a goal and go after it would be my advice.

Argent said...

What Aggie said.

I would add a question: is there nothing about your job you like anymore? I've had bouts of complete disillousionment with jobs over the years. I even went so far and to change to a totally different industry - and hated it more! No I try to focus on what I still like rather than what I hate.
Please keep us posted on your progress - it's an area close to many hearts I think.

This Brazen Teacher said...

I have been contemplating the broken tape in my own head a lot this week. Sometimes I think that it's "hating the broken tape in our head" that keeps us from making changes.

I can't let go of what I don't hold. And I can't properly hold what I don't own, and I certainly can't properly own something I hate. It's a vicious circle. So I'm tryin to "love my broken tape" if that makes sense. I'll let you know if I have any success ;-)