God the omnipresence
OK folks, before you jump to any conclusions let me make one thing clear:
I am not making this thing up. This is what I was taught:
God is an omnipotent omnipresent being.
Like it or not, God is an old man watching your every move 24/7.
Not only that he watches you but he also knows exactly every thing you are thinking to the most intimate, personal thoughts!
Now, I know what you are going to say:
God is a loving father and he is watching over me because he loves me and wants to make sure I don’t get in any trouble.
Well, I am a father too and I love my kids and watch over them too, but once they have grown up to the point that they can go to the bathroom on their own I gave them their privacy.
So I say thank you God for your concern but when I take my shit I would like some privacy too!
I know some people out there loved to be watched by old men while taking a shower – I’ve seen the webcams :) – but the majority of people love their privacy.
So how do we deal with an omnipresent God in our life?
Well, the same way we deal with any regular perverts peeping Toms;
We institutionalize them; we put them in prisons or psychiatric wards.
And that is exactly what a church is.
A church is a gilded cage where we are keeping God and his peeping habits at bay.
There behind thick walls under the supervision of the correction officers and medical stuff, we call the clergy, we keep God sedated and happy so we can go about our daily business without being bothered by his interference.
Of course once a week every Sunday morning, as a good family, we put on our good garb and go for a family visit to our institutionalized relative, God.
There we can tell him what happened in our life since our last visit, through the ritual of confession, and we may pass some requests or the occasional thanks, we pay our monetary dues to the staff and then go home until next Sunday.
This is a very advantageous arrangement but of course there are some people, which do not subscribe to it.
There are the extreme fundamentalist religious, which truly believe in the omnipresence of God.
Now, you know that if someone truly believes it is being watched by a green man in a flying saucer 24/7 that is not enlightenment, that is schizophrenic paranoia and usually we lock them up.
Same thing with the people that believe in an omnipresent God. That is not a religious belief that is mass psychosis. And if you know anybody like that and you thought they were a little bit odd, that is because they are very much so :)
Of course nobody in the scientific community would say that because that would be extremely politically incorrect, plus the religious right would have a field day going after you.
In conclusion if you are one of the people believing in an omnipotent, omnipresent God, before you write me a nasty comment, let me remind you that you have to love me and you better write something nice because:
GOD IS WATCHING YOU!