Monday, October 9, 2017

The Mechanics of Love

When I met Emily she was working as a salesperson, although she had a degree in journalism and dreamed of being a writer. 
She had taken this sales job, after graduating from college, as a temporary job, until she would get a “real” job, doing what she loved. 
Somehow she got stuck paying her bills and never made it out of sales into the publishing world.

She was in her mid 30’s now. She lived by the ocean in a small, rented apartment that cost her a fortune and sucked up more than half of her salary. She drove an old, beat-up Volvo station wagon and it looked like her life was going nowhere really slow.

What amazed me about her was how bright she was and how hard she worked for her meager salary.
Being the rude, crude, pushy individual that you all are suspecting under this Buddhist robe, I started pushing her to get a life or get control of her life or do something.

I don’t know if it was the prospect of financial independence and the freedom of pursuing her dreams, or if she did it just to stop me from my incessant nagging, but one day she quit her job and started her own business of selling medical supplies.

She was intelligent, articulate, honest, genuine, dedicated and she worked her but off 24/7.
To no one's surprise, after a couple of months, she landed some major clients and the money started pouring in.

Gone were the days of coupon clipping and discount stores. She was making more money that she had ever dreamed.
So, the first thing she wanted to do with her newfound wealth, was to get rid of her old Volvo and get a new car.

- I am getting a Porsche! - She announced me with a big green on her face.
- Are you out of your mind? – I said – You don’t need a Porsche for? A Porsche is for middle age males with penis size and erectile problems.
Get yourself a new Volvo if a new car is what you want.
- You are just an old fashion square, an Easter European male chauvinist. 
This is America where a woman can be and have anything she wants! 
When I was in college I wanted a Porsche but I couldn’t afford it. I promised myself that if I ever become successful I would get one, and that is what I’m going to do!

So she did. She bought herself a top of the line Porsche convertible, but there were some minor problems with this car.
First: This was 25 years ago, well before laptop computers and PowerPoint, when salespeople carried around overhead projectors, presentation boards, product samples and other bulky visual aids. 

Also, a Porsche wouldn’t take out to lunch more than one client at the time and it had to be a slim and limber one, to get in and out of the car.

And last, but not least, this marvel of German engineering was a stick shift and Emily as talented and creative as she was, did not have any mechanical acumen. – I can still hear the grinding of gears and the squeal of the clutch burning up.

So, to no surprise, the Porsche ended up in a garage for repairs and continued to spend more time with the mechanic than with Emily. – Not to mention the 3-5 thousand dollars bills she had to pay each time.

Pretty soon Emily started missing her appointments and losing her accounts and a financial disaster loomed around the corner.
She needed a reliable car. 
Forced by the circumstances she got rid of the Porsche and bought a brand new Volvo station wagon.

She was not very happy with her new car, in the beginning, but as her business started to pick up again, her affection for her new Volvo grew and eventually, she fell in love with it.
I know that because she gave it a nickname and when girls nicknames their cars, that means love.

So what the hell buying a car has to do with relationships? You may ask.
Well, this is the deal: 
What do you choose in a relationship; the person that you want or the person that you need?

It looks to me that in the USA everybody is looking for Mr. and Ms. Right. For a Porsche, not a Volvo.
Like a guy I know – can’t mention his name – that got a trophy wife and found himself in a divorce court after a year or so.
What do you expect when you marry a $6000 pair of tits? A woman that cooks, does laundry and cleans after you? I think not.

Mr. and Ms. Right are nice to take out and show off to your jealous friends and relatives but that is about it. Just as it is with a Porsche.
If you dream of living on a ranch and having horses around, you don’t need a Porsche you need – dare I say it – a Pickup Truck!

Yes, boys and girls we all want to marry Angelina Jolly and Brad Pitt but would your relationship last more than 24 hours? Yeah, sure, keep on dreaming!

If you really want a relationship that lasts. A relationship that is more than a façade, somebody to be your friend, support and mate for the rest of your life you have to learn a new word “COMPATIBLE” 
So forget about Mr. and Ms. Right and start looking around for something else:
Who is your Volvo?


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