Zen Thoughts

Buddha gathered his disciples at a lake on Gridhakuta for instruction.

His adherents sat in a circle about him eagerly awaiting his teachings.

Wordlessly Buddha reached into the muck and pulled up a single lotus flower.

He then held it high for all to see.

Practically everyone was bewildered. But then the disciple Mahakashyapa began to laugh.

Finally, Buddha handed the lotus flower to Mahakashyapa and said,

“What can be said I have said to you, and what cannot be said, I have given to Mahakashyapa.”

...

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

You cannot learn the truth, you can only experience and remember it.

You can learn a lot of things; you can learn how to cook, how to fix a car or you can learn a new language but you cannot learn the truth.

The truth you have learned is false because there is only one truth, reality.

Reality is the ultimate and only truth, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

And that cannot be learned.

I can tell you that you are a part of this universe, the manifestation, and materialization of the infinite intelligence of the universe.

I can tell you that your feeling of separation from the rest of the reality the belief that you are independent of the rest of the world is just a hallucination, a construct of your frightened ego.

I can tell you that you already know everything you want to know and that your ignorance is just an illusion of your Ego/

You may understand my words you will understand my meaning but you will not grasp the truth of my statement unless you recognize the truth, the reality behind my words until you remember who you are. until you break free from the prison of reason,

You cannot learn the truth.

Reality is too complex to understand. God is too complex to understand.

You can only experience and remember them.

You cannot learn and know who you are, you can only remember it.

The Mechanics of Love

When I met Emily she was working as a salesperson, although she had a degree in journalism and dreamed of being a writer. 

She had taken this sales job, after graduating from college, as a temporary job, until she would get a “real” job, doing what she loved. 

Somehow she got stuck paying her bills and never made it out of sales into the publishing world.

She was in her mid 30’s now. She lived by the ocean in a small, rented apartment that cost her a fortune and sucked up more than half of her salary. She drove an old, beat-up Volvo station wagon and it looked like her life was going nowhere really slow.

What amazed me about her was how bright she was and how hard she worked for her meager salary.

Being the rude, crude, pushy individual that you all are suspecting under this Buddhist robe, I started pushing her to get a life or get control of her life or do something.

I don’t know if it was the prospect of financial independence and the freedom of pursuing her dreams, or if she did it just to stop me from my incessant nagging, but one day she quit her job and started her own business of selling medical supplies.

She was intelligent, articulate, honest, genuine, dedicated and she worked her but off 24/7.

To no one's surprise, after a couple of months, she landed some major clients and the money started pouring in.

Gone were the days of coupon clipping and discount stores. She was making more money that she had ever dreamed.

So, the first thing she wanted to do with her newfound wealth, was to get rid of her old Volvo and get a new car.

- I am getting a Porsche! - She announced me with a big green on her face.

- Are you out of your mind? – I said – You don’t need a Porsche for? A Porsche is for middle age males with penis size and erectile problems.

Get yourself a new Volvo if a new car is what you want.

- You are just an old fashion square, an Easter European male chauvinist. 

This is America where a woman can be and have anything she wants! 

When I was in college I wanted a Porsche but I couldn’t afford it. I promised myself that if I ever become successful I would get one, and that is what I’m going to do!

So she did. She bought herself a top of the line Porsche convertible, but there were some minor problems with this car.

First: This was 25 years ago, well before laptop computers and PowerPoint, when salespeople carried around overhead projectors, presentation boards, product samples and other bulky visual aids. 

Also, a Porsche wouldn’t take out to lunch more than one client at the time and it had to be a slim and limber one, to get in and out of the car.

And last, but not least, this marvel of German engineering was a stick shift and Emily as talented and creative as she was, did not have any mechanical acumen. – I can still hear the grinding of gears and the squeal of the clutch burning up.

So, to no surprise, the Porsche ended up in a garage for repairs and continued to spend more time with the mechanic than with Emily. – Not to mention the 3-5 thousand dollars bills she had to pay each time.

Pretty soon Emily started missing her appointments and losing her accounts and a financial disaster loomed around the corner.

She needed a reliable car. 

Forced by the circumstances she got rid of the Porsche and bought a brand new Volvo station wagon.

She was not very happy with her new car, in the beginning, but as her business started to pick up again, her affection for her new Volvo grew and eventually, she fell in love with it.

I know that because she gave it a nickname and when girls nicknames their cars, that means love.

So what the hell buying a car has to do with relationships? You may ask.

Well, this is the deal: 

What do you choose in a relationship; the person that you want or the person that you need?

It looks to me that in the USA everybody is looking for Mr. and Ms. Right. For a Porsche, not a Volvo.

Like a guy I know – can’t mention his name – that got a trophy wife and found himself in a divorce court after a year or so.

What do you expect when you marry a $6000 pair of tits? A woman that cooks, does laundry and cleans after you? I think not.

Mr. and Ms. Right are nice to take out and show off to your jealous friends and relatives but that is about it. Just as it is with a Porsche.

If you dream of living on a ranch and having horses around, you don’t need a Porsche you need – dare I say it – a Pickup Truck!

Yes, boys and girls we all want to marry Angelina Jolly and Brad Pitt but would your relationship last more than 24 hours? Yeah, sure, keep on dreaming!

If you really want a relationship that lasts. A relationship that is more than a façade, somebody to be your friend, support and mate for the rest of your life you have to learn a new word “COMPATIBLE” 

So forget about Mr. and Ms. Right and start looking around for something else:

Who is your Volvo?

The Metaphysics of Money

So, are we spirit with a physical body or are we animated material bodies with a spirit?

The little voice inside my head is screaming “I am a spirit, you dummy!” but my lower back pain is killing me – old story – and it is damn hard to ignore the pain no matter how enlightened I think I am.

So I’ll have to leave the answer to you – other people he seems to know better who and what I am.

Either you are a spirit or not, you can’t ignore the things around you.

We depend on things, we need and buy things, we crave and desire things, things are a necessity, they are part of our life and like it or not, they define us as individuals and as species.

We are humans because we are the only animal that can make and use things. Right?

It is only when we started to build and use tools that the human civilization took off and brought us where we are now today.

Some will argue that is the brink of extinction but nobody will argue that the human success as a species on this planet is due to our ability to make things.

But what are things and why do we need them?

Things are “Enhancers” they amplify, magnify, expedite, intensify, speed up and multiply.

Cars, trains and airplanes are nothing but things that make us go faster.

A gun is nothing but a human killing amplifier.

Although cars in USA are killing more people than guns and that might put a hole in my theory – hey let's ban the use of cars! - just a brain fart :)

But you get the idea. Things are making our life easier in a way or another.

At least in theory.

What about money?

Money is a piece of paper to hard and too small to even wipe your ass.

Why and how is money so important and so good and evil at the same time?

Money is a thing that can be anything, therefore its “enhancing” power it is not limited to one thing; it could be speed if you buy a plane ticket or shelter if you buy a house, it can even be unconditional love. No not a hooker... I was thinking more like a puppy :)

Because of this potential money has, it makes it into an amplifier of your whole life, of who you are as a person.

Hence, a nice person will be 10 - 100 times nicer if he has money while an asshole will be 10 - 100 times a bigger asshole if he has money.

This little metaphysical trick was used by some charlatan guru – I don’t remember his name but I know he had one Rolls Royce car for every day of the year.

So this crook promised to make you happy if you renounce your money – and obviously give it to him.

The truth is that he did not make anybody happier but rather by removing the magnifying power of the money, his victims just felt less miserable.

You can see the reverse of this power on people that win millions of dollars on the lottery.

Within a year from the big win 99% of them are worse than before!

Money does not lift them up out of their misery it is the other way around, it makes their misery even bigger!

So now here is the answer many have asked since the invention of money:

Why doesn’t God help me with money when I am down, bitter, unhappy and miserable?

Because God loves you! That’s why.

And also:

Why does God suddenly blesses me with all this money when I am happy and content with what I have and my life?

Because God loves you! That’s why.

So before you ask God for money ask yourself.

Am I happy? Am I content and at peace within and without?

Because if your house is on fire you are just asking God to pour some gasoline on you!!!

Yep, be careful what you wish for:

– You might get it.

Are you experienced?

“Eye cannot see IT, the tongue cannot utter IT, the mind cannot grasp IT.

There is no way to learn or teach IT.

IT is different from the known, beyond the unknown.

In this, all the ancient masters agree.

That which makes the tongue speak but which cannot be spoken by the tongue – that alone is God, not what people worship.

That which makes the mind think but which cannot be thought by the mind - that alone is God, not what people worship.

That which makes the eye see but which cannot be seen by the eye - that alone is God, not what people worship.

That which makes the ear hear but cannot be heard by the ear - that alone is God, not what people worship.

If you think that you know God, you know very little; all you can now are ideas and images of God.

I do not know God, nor can I say that I don’t know IT.

If you understand the meaning of “I neither know nor don’t know” you understand God.

Those who realize that God cannot be known, truly know; those who claim that they know, know nothing.

The ignorant think that God can be grasped by the mind; the wise know IT beyond knowledge.

When you see that God acts through you at every moment, in every movement of mind or body, you attain true freedom.

When you realize the truth and cling to nothing in the world, you enter eternal life.”

The Upanishads

Why your own advice is hard to follow

My good friend and colleague John B from the time I had my own therapy business, was a quite excellent marriage and family counselor.

The funny thing about him was that in his private life he had a really bad record with relationships.

Several times divorced and a couple dozen horror story relationships later, he couldn’t hold a relationship for more than three months without getting into a fight.

He often came to me for personal advice and I would listen to him and offer the best advice I had to offer – It is a courtesy professional thing we do.

Anyway, to make the story short, one day he caught me tired, burned out and not in the mood to listen to his soap opera love life.

I told him:

- You are an expert in relationships, what advice would you give a guy that came to you with the very same problem.

He started talking laying down a very compelling set of arguments. 

He told me what he would say to this imaginary patient, what advice he would give him and how he would follow up on the progress. 

It was far better than all the advice I gave him previously. No matter the guy was considered one of the best counselors in the business.

Then I said to him:

- Now you have it, you know what to do.

- That wouldn’t work for me – He said.

- Why not. It works for your clients, doesn’t it?

- Yeah, but they don’t know that the whole thing is only BS.

It is funny and sad that we may have and give the best advice but we cannot follow our own advice.

It comes down to the problem of authority.

News personalities, televangelists, celebrities or politicians can say the most stupid illogical things and people will follow them without hesitation like a pack of lemurs to their own destruction.

It is not what is said but who says it that makes us act, and I know you believe you are not one of those superficial people but sadly we all are.

Somebody did an experiment a while ago.

They took a famous violinist and ask him to play on a metro station. Although he was a virtuoso and played the most fantastic music that people will pay good money to see, nobody stopped to listen.

That is until somebody recognized him and then everybody stopped and polled out their cellphones.

And that's why you are not taking your own advice. 

You are just a bum playing the violin in a metro station. You have not yet recognized your own genius.