The Meaning of Life VI

A person should be more than just an individual.
A family should be more than a convenience union of people.
A community should be more than a bunch of families sharing the same neighborhood.
This country should be more than a union of states bound together by the same constitution.
And the world we live in should be more than a quilt of different countries sawed together at the borders.

We are all threads, fibers in the fabric of life.
The way we interwove in this structure is what gives us and our life meaning.

Show me a lonely person and I will show you a fearful, depressed and unhappy soul.
Show me a lonely human being and I will show you an abused individual.
Show me a lonely being and I will show you rage and hatred ready to explode.
Show me a lonely person and I will show you a wasted meaningless life.

In my practice I’ve seen a lot of lonely people.
They all have one thing in common:
They all believe their loneliness is a symptom, a result of their problems and the most difficult thing to show them is that their isolation, their separation and distance from the people around them is not a symptom, but the very cause of their dysfunctional life.

Show me a prejudiced person and I will show you a person that hates himself.
Show me a person that loves himself and I will show you a person that loves his neighbors.
We are to ourselves what we are to others.
The things we do to others are the things we do to ourselves.
The victim of today will be the aggressor of tomorrow.

It is hard to understand that in the spiritual world you can only have what you give.
For the “me” generation it is hard to understand that the less you give the less you have.
Just think about it:
If all of us are there to find some one to love us, to take care of us, to makes us happy then there will be no love, care or happiness in the world.
If all of us would change that point of view and live in this world to love and care and make the people around us happy, then this world would be a paradise.

“Love your neighbor as yourself” is not an empty phrase or just a nice thing to say.
Love your neighbor, is the fundamental key of this spiritual world we’ve been talking abut.
Love is the knots, the glue that holds this fabric of life together.
Without it, everything falls apart.
Without it we are all doomed to a lonely, meaningless life.

I'm taking a break today :)

The Meaning of Life V

I was reading a psychology study on how culture determines the way we think and see the world.
The researchers gave a bunch of students a pile of pictures, let’s say a monkey, a goat, grass and a banana, and asked them to group the pictures together.
The Western students grouped the monkey and the goat together and the banana and the grass together, while the Eastern students grouped the monkey with the banana and the grass with the goat.
We Westerners see the world as objects while the Eastern people see the world as relationships.

In the Western culture we understand reality by taking it apart and putting everything in little groups.
We have medics for each part of the body and a branch of science for each part of nature.
We know everything about something but nothing about everything.
And that doesn’t even bother us :)

How would it be to see the world as a world of relations instead of a world of objects?
A whole working system, not as separate parts.

I remember when I was 6 or 7 I heard this riddle:
“What came first – the chicken or the egg?”
It bothered me tremendously because the only reasonable answer would be:
“There is no such a thing as a chicken and egg”
Yet growing up on a farm I was surrounded by chickens and eggs.

What? Do you think you have the answer? Do you think you understand?
Then try out this riddle: “What came first; life or death?”
See, we see life and death as two separate things, like the chicken and the egg, but also as tied together – you can’t have one without the other.
Now, what is the answer?

We see chickens as real and eggs as real but we can’t conceive a chicken-egg reality.
We can’t see this …chicken-egg-chicken-egg-chicken-egg… thing – for us, such thing doesn’t exist.
We can’t see our reality as a life-death thing.
We can see ourselves as part of a larger system, a meta reality.
We see my life and my death as different and separate from your life and your death.

We think of ourselves as appearing in this world from a black hole hanging around for a while and then disappearing back into that black hole.
But life is a continuum a …chicken-egg-chicken-egg-chicken-egg… thing not a random spontaneous act.
Nobody just pops out from nothing on a deserted island.
We might feel separated and independent but we are just a link in a chain.

Reality is not made of separate objects but of systems.
Each system is made of sub systems and each system in turn is part of a larger meta system.
It is easy to se how humans are in fact a digestive system, a circulatory system, a nervous system and all the other systems that make up a human being.
It is very hard to see ourselves as part of a larger system.
But there is hope as we have started to discover and analyze the natural ecosystems.
We are one step from discovering and analyzing the spiritual system of which we are all part of.

So looking from that perspective you will realize that the meaning of your life is given by the relationship you have with the rest of the links in this chain of life.
You can not love or be loved by yourself.
You can not be successful, famous or powerful by yourself.
You can not define who you are and what you are by yourself.
Your life has no meaning whatsoever if separated from this life continuum.

The Meaning of Life IV

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately on Stumble Upon.
(If you have some time and would like to see my collection of Buddhist and spiritual sites, you can click on my Stumble link above the followers’ widget.)
Any way. One of things about Stumble is that people send you really odd stuff – like this video of a cowboy that is dragged and tossed around for a really long time before he finally decides to let go of the rope.
Watching this video made me think about the way we are holding on to the material world and even as we are being dragged and tossed around we just would not let go of a bad situation.

So how do we get hooked to the material world?
Let’s take a little example: Clothing and fashion.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, we are very fragile beings.
Without a thick skin and fur to protect us from the elements we need clothing.
So we started to invent all sorts of things to cover our body and keep it warm and dry.
Some were on the history line we also invented fashion.

We do not need fashion to protect us from the elements.
We need fashion to make us feel good about ourselves, worthy and special – but then again so does crack cocaine :)
We go to the mall and find and buy, the latest and greatest of the new fashion and for a moment we are on the top of the world.
But just as a high from a drug, this “feel good” feeling, doesn’t last for long and pretty soon we find ourselves unhappy again and in need of a new “fix”

So basically that is the way we get addicted to the material world.
We screw up the dynamic between us and the objects that are supposed to serve us.
In the first place clothes were supposed to serve us, to protect us, to fulfill a function.
On the second, clothes take control of our feelings. We are no longer the masters; we have become the slaves of the fashion trends.
And that my friends, happens with all the other material things that take over our life.

So that brings up the ultimate question: are you the master or the slave of your material world?
Do you feel like all you do is trying to keep up your life style?
Are you pushed in life by your bills or pulled by your dreams?
Are you in charge of your life, or is your life spiraling out of control?

Many years ago I was “hooked up” to the material world.
As any emigrant coming to America I bought into the Idea of a better life.
After all, what else can be more alluring than the promise of a better life?
I wanted everything that was symbolizing the “better” life without realizing what a better life really was and what I was really doing.

To make a long story short, some were in the 90’s, during the last economical recession I found myself heals over head deep in debt.
I bought a house I couldn’t afford to buy, a car I really did not need, I maxed out my credit and all the money left I invested in the stock market.
In other words I was living the American dream.
Then one day the company I was working for decided to “cut the fat” and I got laid off.

And suddenly I found myself falling down from my castle in the sky without a parachute.
So I did what naturally all of us do in a situation like that. Try to save as much as possible. Try to hold on to it, like the cowboy in the video :)
I did not realize what was going on.

Banks are not in the business of “helping” people as the majority of us think. Banks are in the business of making “profits” and that is all they care about.
When you are down, you will not get a break, you will be pounded till your last drop of blood, till you have nothing more to loose.
Then you will let go. Then they will let go.

So I lost everything. My house went in foreclosure, my investments went into the ground I was basically back where I started coming to America.
But that wasn’t the bad part.
The bad part was going through that fall.
The nights I spent in fear, despair, anxiety, pain and stress.
That gut wrenching feeling in my stomach and my heart.
It wasn’t the material loss; it was the trashing of my soul that hurt the most.

So I put myself together and slowly I came back to life.
But during that period I had a long look at my life and what went wrong.
So I decided I did not want the “good” life anymore.
I didn’t want the big house in the fancy neighborhood. I didn’t want the fast flashy car.
I did not want to be rich, I wanted to be happy.

I want a safe, secure, peaceful, balanced and harmonious life.
I want true neighbors that care about me not about how big and expensive my house is.
I want a woman that loves me for who I am not for the fast flashy car I drive.
I want true friends that will be with me when the going gets tough not only when the times are good.
I don’t want things, I want to be happy.

So there it was; the fundamental shift in my relationship with the material world.
I am not any longer the slave of the things around me.
I might not have much material wealth but the things I have serve me, not the other way around.
I might not be rich but I have peace of mind and a good night of sleep.
I might not have much but I have less to worry about :)

But do not get me wrong; I am not asking you to live your life my way.
All I am trying to do is to open a discussion, to look at different points of view, to try to understand life, the way it works and ultimately to find its meaning.
Your life is your journey and you should live the life you want, the life that makes you happy.
As I will do it with my life.

The Meaning of Life III

Let's take two material objects: A lump of coal and a diamond.
At first glance it seems we have chosen two objects totally different.
One ordinary, insignificant and almost worthless.
The other one rare, exquisite and probable one of the most valuable and precious things on earth.
But here is the funny part of the story: Chemically speaking the two are identical.
Both the lump of coal and the diamond are made out of the same element; carbon.
What makes the diamond so different and special is not its matter but its structure.

As scientist are piercing deeper and deeper into the microscopic world we are discovering that all material things are made up from the same fundamental particles.
The difference between a piece of cheese and a bar of gold is not material but structural.
As a matter of fact there is not such a thing as cheese or gold only cheese structure and gold structure.
Deep at the subatomic level they are made of the same matter.

What gives the material world its “quality” is not material at all.
What gives the material world its form is the empty space in between.
That immaterial reality inside the matter is what determines what matter is.
In other words the spiritual part of the universe is what give the universe its meaning.
The material world it is just a canvas for the creativity of the spirit.

Let's take another two material objects: A house and a home.
At first glance it seems we have chosen two identical objects.
But anybody knows, or it should know, that there is a big difference between a house and a home.

We call home a place were our heart is.
Home gives us security, safety and peace of mind.
Home is warm, cozy and soothing.
Home is filled with memories, heirlooms and love.

It is not the material aspect of the house that makes it a home it is the spiritual meaning.
You can have a home in Beverly Hills or in the slums of Calcutta.
The size value or location doesn't matter and does not make a house into a home.
You fill a house with love and it turns into a home.
You fill a house with hatred and you turns it into a hell hole.
It is the spiritual reality inside the house that it gives it meaning.

So here you have it: The quality of your life is not determined by the material but rather by the spiritual reality of your life. And by spiritual I don't mean religious.

Do I want a nice home for me and my family?
Do I want nice clothes and nice things?
Do I want good food, clean water and air?
Do I want a rewarding fulfilling job and career?
Of course I do. I want a decent , good, normal life.

If I wanted a life of devotion I would have shaved my head, put on the orange robe, join the monastery and spend the rest of my life studying the holly scriptures.
So living this normal life rather than a holly life implies dealing with the material aspect of daily existence.
After all we all need a place to stay, cloth to wear and food to eat.
We might be spiritual beings but as Madonna said “we are living in a material world”

It is dealing with this material world that gets us into trouble.
It is the art of balancing the spiritual and the material we have to master
It is the understanding of the dynamic of the two aspects of reality that will put us in control and ultimately give our life meaning.